Mistress Ethics: On the Virtues of Sexual Kindness

Description

The figure of the mistress is undoubtedly controversial. She provokes intense reactions, ranging from fear, to disgust and revulsion, to excitement and titillation, to sadness and perhaps to some, love. The mistress is conventionally depicted as a threat to moral living and someone whose sexuality is considered defective and toxic. Of course, she is a woman that you would not have as your friend, and certainly not your wife, since her ethical sense, if she even has one, is dubious at best. This book subverts these traditional judgements and offers an unflinching look at the lived experience of the mistress. Here she is recast as a potentially loving, free, intimate 'other' woman. Drawing upon feminist philosophy, contemporary sexual ethics and the current cultural moment of #MeToo, Mistress Ethics moves beyond a narrative of infidelity, conventional judgment, the safeguarding of monogamy and conventional heterosex that permeates our society. It asks what happens when we let go of our insecurities, judgments and moralistic relationship philosophies and opt, instead, for an ethics of kindness. This kindness - underpinned by engaging with those deemed 'other' and learning from mistresses, both straight and queer - will teach us new ways of thinking about ethics and sex, and reveal how we have better sex, and how we can be better to each other.

Victoria Brooks is a writer and researcher. She is also Senior Lecturer in Law at the University of Westminster, London, UK. She is author of Fucking Law: The Search for Her Sexual Ethics (2019).

A stunning critique of the ethics of both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, offering radical alternatives from those 'spies in the house of love' who occupy the spaces in between. Deftly weaving together personal stories and political analysis, Mistress Ethics is a courageous, compelling, and - above all - deeply kind book. * Meg-John Barker, Author of "Life Isn't Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between" * An original, radical book. Academically rigorous, yet an entertaining read. It dares to start a new conversation about an experience previously unexplored in philosophy and to humanise instead of judge. * Andy West, Author of "The Life Inside: A Memoir of Prison, Philosophy and Family" * Brooks offers a stepping stone along the path towards a more sexually flexible future. While the book does not convince that cheating will ever be right, this is a fascinating look into a demonized archetype in sexuality. * Stoya, Actress and Writer, Author of "Philosophy, Pussycats, and Porn" *