The Power of Validation: Arming Your Child Against Bullying, Peer Pressure, Addiction, Self-Harm, and Out-of-Control Emotions

Description

Validation is the recognition and acceptance that a person's feelings and thoughts are true and real for him or her, regardless of whether or not those feelings make logical sense. This seemingly simple concept can determine whether a child has self-esteem or not, whether a child will grow to become an independent adult or a dependent one, and whether a child will be able to process feelings in a healthy way or express his or her emotions by throwing tantrums and acting out. Children who are validated feel reassured that they will be accepted and loved regardless of their feelings, while children who are validated less frequently become more susceptible to peer pressure and are more likely to develop behavioral problems. The Power of Validation breaks validation skills into practical steps parents can use to respond to their child's internal experiences in healthy ways without necessarily condoning their child's behaviors. Readers learn to pay attention to their child, acknowledge the child's thoughts and feelings, and help their child through the process of developing an identity of his or her own. By validating difficult emotions, but disallowing negative actions children may take in response to these emotions, parents can help their kids develop essential self-validating skills for the future that will foster self-esteem and emotional intelligence in adulthood.

Karyn D. Hall, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been in practice for over thirty years. Originally trained as a child psychologist, she now specializes in dialectical behavior therapy and is the director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy Center in Houston, TX. Melissa H. Cook, LPC, is a dialectical behavior therapist in Houston, TX, specializing in eating disorders and borderline personality disorder.

"The Power of Validation is a welcome resource for any parent, teacher, or clinician who wants to optimize their effectiveness in contributing to any young person's emotional development. Hall and Cook have written an easy-to-read, compassionate book that describes the importance, process, and challenges of validation with clear instructions, examples, and practice exercises that can teach and hold the interest of a family member or professional at any level of education or experience. We will definitely refer both family members and colleagues to this book as a tool for teaching the power of validation to promote emotional stability, self-esteem, and effective collaboration in any young person." --Lois W. Choi-Kain, MD, clinical instructor in psychiatry and director of the Gunderson Residence of McLean Hospital "...There is valuable advice here. This approach takes mindfulness, patience, and a long-term vision, but parents who are able to help their children trust their emotional landscapes will have an easier time of scaffolding to higher reasoning, in addition to more secure relationships with their youngsters. Highly recommended." --Library Journal, STARRED REVIEW, Rebecca Raszewski, University of Illinois Library, Chicago "The Power of Validation is an immensely valuable book about helping our children feel worthy and valued. It is written with a compassionate conviction, backed by empirical evidence, and illustrated with vivid anecdotes. The wisdom of these words touches us not only as parents, but as humans longing to be validated for who we are. What greater gift could we possibly give our children than to lovingly recognize, accept, and validate their lives?" --Brent LoCaste-Wilken, LCSW, CEAP, adjunct professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work "The Power of Validation is a veritable roadmap for parents. The destination charted on this roadmap is the creation of a child who has healthy self-esteem and can face the slings and arrows of daily life with confidence and resilience. Parents and those who are anticipating the challenges of parenthood will richly benefit from spending some time with this superb new book." --Glen O. Gabbard, MD, The Gabbard Center in Houston, TX "As a pediatrician and mother, I have read hundreds of parenting books, but this one boils it all down into one easy concept. I have found this book to be an invaluable parenting tool in my own home as well as in my practice. If you've grappled with issues such as bullying and peer pressure, this book provides a tried and true solution that will bring harmony to your relationship with your children and give you a sense of competence in your role as a parent. The authors' down-to-earth writing style makes the hugely powerful concept of validation relevant and effective for all parents. It is truly a fresh perspective on parenting." --Pamela R. Carmain, MD, FAAP, clinical associate professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, TX "In The Power of Validation, Karyn D. Hall and Melissa H. Cook provide a roadmap for building the right emotional foundation for your child's life success. Recognizing and accepting your child's feelings is an easy addition to your parenting skill set as well as an elegantly simple and powerful antidote to the pressure of figuring out how to raise competent, successful children." --Kay M. Albrecht, PhD, early childhood teacher educator at Innovations in Early Childhood Education, Inc., in Houston, TX "Never before has a book about parenting tackled the seemingly simple topic of validation. In this groundbreaking guide, the authors reveal the amazing power of validation in the development of a strong and healthy child. As we learn how validation galvanizes identity and bolsters self-esteem, we also learn about the wreckage of invalidating environments--a delicate subject compassionately addressed by the authors at every turn. In short, a must-read for every parent, a treasure for anyone wanting to boost their emotional intelligence, and a string of pearls for mental health clinicians of every stripe." --Kimberly A. Arlinghaus, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, TX "Validation is the number-one skill in improving relationships with children of all ages, partners, family members, and even colleagues in the workplace. The Power of Validation by Karyn D. Hall and Melissa H. Cook details how and why each of us should master this powerful skill. This is a must-read book for parents and teachers of young children, and most definitely a refreshing and creative reading experience for all who value rewarding relationships!" --Jim and Diane Hall, family educators for the National Alliance on Mental Illness and the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder "Validation makes us feel like we matter. It makes us feel like our feelings are not wrong. With validation, we have a stronger and closer bond with our parents." --Stuart, age 15, David, age 13, and Caroline, age 11