In My Grandfather's Shadow: A story of war, trauma and the legacy of silence

Description

The true story of three generations of one family which examines the guilt and trauma of being part of Germany's Nazi past, and follows the author's journey to find a reckoning with her inheritance. In 1987, Angela Findlay walked into a prison and instantly but inexplicably felt at home. For years she had wrestled with a sense of 'badness' within her. But working with prisoners was just the beginning of her search for answers that took her to Nazi Germany and the life of her dead grandfather, who, it emerged, was a decorated general on the Eastern front. In a rare confluence of memoir, psychology and historical detective story, this is Findlay's account of her unflinching quest for the truth about her German family, one that breaks through the silence surrounding many of the Second World War's perpetrators. In My Grandfather's Shadow explores the heritability of unresolved experiences, questions deeply held perceptions of good and bad, and uncovers the lesser-known history of the war's losers, a post-war culture of apology and atonement, and the lingering legacy of shame. Using her own family story to explore an episode in history that continues to appal and fascinate, Findlay reveals that it is possible not only for the scars of trauma to be handed down through generations, but also for them to be healed.

Angela Findlay is an Anglo-German artist and public speaker who has spent much of her career teaching art in prisons. Her time 'behind bars' in Germany and later as Arts Co-ordinator for the London-based Koestler Arts charity informed her research into the intergenerational consequences of unresolved trauma, guilt and shame. For over a decade, she has been lecturing and writing on the topic as well as on post-war remembrance, resolution and reconciliation. In My Grandfather's Shadow is her first book.

A remarkable cross-pollination of memoir, psychology and history in which the author comes to grips with being the granddaughter of a Nazi general. * i Paper * A compelling journey through guilt and shame that asks fundamental and painful questions about the extent of a family member's participation in one of the biggest crimes of the 20th century. -- Derek Niemann, author of A Nazi in the Family In My Grandfather's Shadow is an extraordinary book. Beautifully written, poignant and acutely perceptive; endlessly thought-provoking and challenging. From the nature of wickedness to the phenomenon of epigenetics, it is also an extremely powerful and different way of seeing the vast and terrible tides of history. -- Sinclair McKay, author of Berlin, Dresden, and The Secret Life of Bletchley Park Seeking to untangle the complexities of her own life, the author goes in search of a WW2 German general - the grandfather she never knew. The outcome is a powerful and at times painfully honest story that will touch readers at many levels. -- Julia Boyd, author of Travellers in the Third Reich and A Village in the Third Reich This is a moving and powerful memoir that illuminates the extraordinary power of unprocessed trauma as it passes through generations, and how when it is faced it can be healed. -- Julia Samuel, author of Every Family Has a Story, Grief Works and This Too Shall Pass [A] remarkable memoir .... It's a powerful investigation into the individual personal cost that results from wider history, and the ways in which inherited guilt and trauma can leave scars across generations. -- Caroline Sanderson * The Bookseller * This is an absolutely extraordinary book. In peeling back the layers of her family history, Angela Findlay reveals a vast, hidden European story that few nations have ever been brave enough to confront. -- Keith Lowe, Sunday Times bestselling author of Savage Continent: Europe in the Aftermath of World War II A page turner of the highest calibre! Meticulously researched, searingly honest and beautifully written, this timely book is a salient reminder of how intergenerational relationships connect threads between past and present. The author skillfully excavates her grandfather's life putting the family puzzle together piece by piece to create a forensic and fascinating portrait of the past. Her book gives new meaning to the prescient words of psychoanalyst, Roger Woolger: 'It is the responsibility of the living to heal the dead. Otherwise their unfinished business will continue to play out in our fears, phobias and illnesses. -- Marina Cantacuzino, Author and founder of The Forgiveness Project What do you do if you are British and German and tormented by a vague sense of guilt which is ruining your life? The answer, in Angela Findlay's case, is you track down your WWII German general grandfather, who waged war on Russia. In a fast-moving story told with great feeling and solid scholarship, Angela Findlay confronts questions of good and evil, generational guilt and reconciliation ... This is a fine book: moving, serious and told with compelling verve. The moral is that honest remembrance of the past helps people live better futures. -- Marcus Ferrar, author of A Foot in Both Camps: a German Past for Better and for Worse In My Grandfather's Shadow' is a brave, powerful, honest, thoughtful and meticulously researched book. I enjoyed it immensely. It has made me think very hard about intergenerational trauma transfer and explains so much about Germany, and perhaps, in the current context, Russia. -- General Sir Richard Shirreff, former Deputy Supreme Allied Commander Europe and author of 'War with Russia' An unflinching exploration of shame and pain passed between generations. This is a powerful and important book which will change the way in which we understand ourselves. -- Emma Craigie, author of Hitler's Last Day In My Grandfather's Shadow is utterly compelling, elegantly written and extremely brave. The beauty of the book is how absolutely clearly it shows the depth and breadth of the author's research; the care and sensitivity she has brought to bear on the most difficult of subjects. -- Katie Jarvis, * Cotswold Life * In this gripping account of a long personal journey to confront a difficult family history, Findlay explores the effects of trauma, reveals the healing power of art, and affords deep insights into contemporary memorial culture. -- Bill Niven, Professor Emeritus in Contemporary German History at Nottingham Trent University and author of Facing the Nazi Past A brave and profound book which asks difficult questions about how we live with those parts of history which we would rather forget. Angela Findlay is tireless in her search for the truth - and for a reconciliation process which acknowledges that there can be no neat conclusions. Many readers will find this book informative, healing and inspiring. -- ??????Alice Jolly, author of Mary Ann Sate, Imbecile and Dead Babies and Seaside Towns A magnificent achievement. So honest, so thorough and so well written, both Angela's search for truth and this book are about the deepest possible experience of transmitted collective/personal trauma. -- Pamela Steiner, EdD, Senior Fellow, FXB Center for Health and Human Rights, Harvard School of Public Health and author of Collective Trauma and the Armenian Genocide Angela Findlay has written a brave and unflinchingly honest exploration of the complex legacy of her German grandfather's activities as a top-ranking Wehrmacht officer in WW2. Her book is essential reading for anyone who wants to understand the far-reaching impact of transgenerational memory, shame or trauma, and a moving testament to the personal and collective value of reckoning with the past. r -- Rebecca Abrams, author of The Jewish Journey: 4000 Years in 22 Objects and Licoricia of Wincheste