The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around

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"Love may be sweeter the second (or third) time around, but once the bliss wears off, the reality of joining two distinct worlds sets in," writes marriage and family therapist Terry Gaspard. She knows all the pitfalls and landmines. She has counseled couples for over 30 years and conducted original research, and her blogs for top websites are read and shared by hundreds of thousands. In The Remarriage Manual, Gaspard shows couples how to manage the 10 areas that most threaten second marriages. Unfinished business with exes (and other old baggage), pressures of dealing with debt and handling money, blending families, finding time and space for sex, managing conflict, and more can strain second marriages to the breaking point. We might joke that marriage should come with a manual, but for remarriages it's essential. The divorce rate is 60 percent compared to 50 percent for firsts. The tips and tools Gaspard offers have directed countless remarried couples toward lasting happiness, including the author and her husband. The Remarriage Manual provides everything a couple needs to inspire or repair their second marriage. Therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy will also find crucial insights for helping their clients.

Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW, is a therapist in private practice and a popular blogger at gottman.com, the website for John Gottman's institute. Gaspard is the coauthor, with her daughter, of the highly praised Daughters of Divorce. Gaspard is also a regular contributor to Patheos, HuffPost, The Good Men Project, and divorcedmoms.com. She lives in Rhode Island with her second husband and can be found online at movingpastdivorce.com.

"Should be required reading for anyone who wants to make their second marital go-around work. It is a treasure chest filled with essential and practical information, guidance, instruction, case examples, and tools. I most appreciate how it gives voice to marriage number two's unique challenges, while connecting to the latest social-emotional trends, challenges, and even cultural shifts. Reading the book made me feel like I was getting advice from a best friend who just happened to be an expert in marriage and relationships." --Ross Rosenberg, MEd, LCPC, CADC, CSAT, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap "Second marriages often pose challenges more difficult than first marriages. In this wise and well-written book, therapist Terry Gaspard provides empathy and guidance for those seeking to overcome the predictable but often daunting obstacles that can occur. Save yourself a lot of time, headaches, and heartaches and read The Remarriage Manual." --Joshua Coleman, PhD, psychologist, senior fellow, Council on Contemporary Families, and author of When Parents Hurt and Making a High-Conflict Marriage Work "This practical, well-written manual provides sound advice, and addresses the challenging issues of remarriage. Using examples from interviews, Terry Gaspard identifies common issues for remarried couples. Sure to be helpful to couples planning on remarriage as well as those who are living in remarried families." --Constance Ahrons, PhD, author of The Good Divorce and We're Still Family "If you're remarried, and hoping to stay that way, you and your spouse should make this book your bedtime reading. Drawing on research, clinical expertise, and her personal experience, Terry Gaspard lays out the most common problems vexing remarried couples and presents actionable steps to help them successfully navigate the complex terrain of marriage the second (or third) time around. I will be recommending this reader-friendly manual to all my remarried clients." --Virginia Gilbert, MFT, author of Transcending High-Conflict Divorce: How to Disengage from Your Ex and Find Your Power "Sensible, practical, and loving advice from someone who has walked the same path. Instead of crossing your fingers and hoping love will save the day, open this book and hone your skills for making your marriage and new family work." --Andrew G. Marshall, marital therapist and author of I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You "When divorced people find love again, they naively assume everything will work out perfectly the second time around. However, without a down-to-earth roadmap, relationships falter. Terry Gaspard's new book offers couples the tools they need to overcome the unique challenges of remarriage and make their relationships loving and everlasting." --Michele Weiner-Davis, author of The Divorce Remedy