Available As Is: A Midlife Widow's Search for Love

Description

After losing her husband, George-her one and only since high school prom-to cancer, fifty-year-old Debbie Weiss found herself opening a new chapter of life that she didn't know how to start. Initially, she binge-watched Netflix and drank Manhattans. Then she became a dating monster-starting with J-Date and then moving on to multiple other sites. Soon, Debbie was averaging two dates a day; in the blink of an eye, she'd gone from respectable widow to the girl you'd do in your Trans Am but wouldn't take to the prom. At one point, she was actually dating four guys at once, including a politician who refused to let Debbie meet his family because they'd met online. But as she juggled these many men, she began to feel that midlife dating was less an earnest romantic endeavor and more a battle of the sexes . . . and the line in the sand was how much women were willing to tolerate. Fed up, Debbie went offline. Only then, without the distraction of dating to keep her busy, did she finally, truly grieve her loss-and as she did, she also realized that she needed to forgive herself, both for George's death and for losing her identity in their marriage. Equal parts poignant and punchy, Available As Is is a darkly humorous account of seeking love-but finding yourself.

Debbie Weiss is a former attorney who earned her MFA in creative nonfiction from Saint Mary's College of California in 2020. A native of the Bay Area, she turned to writing after George, her husband and partner of more than three decades, died of cancer in April 2013, and she found herself single and living alone for the first time in her life. Weiss's essays have been published in The New York Times's "Modern Love" column, HuffPost, Woman's Day, Good Housekeeping, Elle Decor, and Reader's Digest, among other publications. Her award-winning blog, TheHungoverWidow.com, dispenses empathy and advice on grief and dating after loss. She lives in Benicia, CA.

"This is a deeply personal story but one that Weiss shares with a beguiling openness and wit. A sharply written, heartfelt dating account that proves both enriching and amusing." -Kirkus Reviews "Overall, Available As Is sets out a stunning and bittersweet journey of self-discovery that is elevated above your average memoir by a rare breed of emotional honesty and the magic of a gifted wordsmith laying out the lessons learned along the way." -Readers' Favorite, 5-star review "A sudden widow at fifty, Debbie Weiss captures the absurdity of modern dating as a grown up. With unexpected humor and much-welcome hope, Available As Is is a deeply moving story of trying to build a new life after loss." -Allison Gilbert, author of Listen, World! and Passed and Present "With unflinching honesty, Weiss lays out her road from loving marriage, to grieving widow, to dating again. Eye-opening to some and painfully relatable to others, Available As Is is brave, authentic, and exceedingly validating for others working to find love in these disconnected times." -Ann Garvin, USA Today best-selling author of I Thought You Said This Would Work "Scorchingly honest, romantic, funny, desperate, and heartbreaking, Debbie Weiss's memoir Available As is may be the widow's story of the millennium. Read it and weep. Read it and rejoice." -Jacquelyn Mitchard, author of The Deep End of the Ocean "A brave, honest look into the trials and tribulations of dating as a middle-aged widowed person. Weiss's debut memoir is at once poignant and entertaining, and ultimately helps us to realize that the most important relationship we'll ever have is the one we have with ourselves." -Jenny Lisk, author of Future Widow and host of The Widowed Parent Podcast