Silence is a Scary Sound: And Other Stories on Living Through the Terrible Twos and Threes

Description

After his breakout hit book I'm Sorry... Love, Your Husband, Clint Edwards has more laugh-out-loud tales from the "Terrible Twos" phase each of his three kids went through. While potty training his daughter, he reveals, "wiping a three-year-old's butt is never satisfying. It's never rewarding. It just smells bad and makes you feel like a slave locked in some butt wiping servitude." His relatable toddler stories leave parents and caregivers cackling, and remind us all that no one is the perfect parent. In fact, sometimes the only thing that gets Clint through the day is thinking about when his kids grow up... and all the ways he can finally exact his revenge. Like leaving a leaky sippy-cup full of milk to rot under the back seat of his daughters car, or waking up at 4 a.m. to incessantly ask his son for a cheese stick. With essays like Locking Doors Is Hilarious Until the Fire Department Arrives, Turns Out Poop Doesn't Go Easily Down the Tub Drain, Let Them Watch Screens, and You'll Never Pee Alone, Clint knows exactly what's "terrible" about the twos.

Clint Edwards is the founder of No Idea What I'm Doing parenting blog and author of I'm Sorry... Love Your Husband. He's a parenting staff writer for the New York Times, Huffington Post and the Washington Post. He lives in Lebanon, Oregon.

This book finally answers the age-old question of 'How many snakes do I take away from the toddler after he hits an elderly woman in the face with one?' (All but one, apparently)." Jenny Lawson, New York Times bestselling author of Furiously Happy A funny and refreshing book that reminds us all that children are a perfect source of entertainment--as long as they belong to somebody else. James Breakwell, author of Bare Minimum Parenting and Only Dead on the Inside "This book is so relatable and so funny that I had to wake up my husband and read aloud to him. I'm serious. Clint nailed it!" Samantha Angoletta, Managing Editor of Scary Mommy "Clint brings wit and wisdom to his writing that is a must-read for every parent." Love What Matters "HILARIOUS!!" Tiffany Jenkins, the viral mother behind Juggling the Jenkins This book is so funny you might pee a little. Ok, maybe a lot... Filter Free Parents "Clint just gets it. I love to laugh and he NEVER disappoints." Meredith Masony, the viral mother behind That's Inappropriate "Hilarious and all too true!" Brian Gordon, Fowl Language Comics What other people are saying about Clint Edwards "Amen!" --Parents Magazine Clint Edwards brings real humor to the unsavory parts of childcare... --Mashable I always know, when I'm about to read a piece by Clint, that I'll end up nodding my head in agreement... --The Washington Post "Edwards...reports from the front lines of parenthood in this engaging and often hilarious collection of essays...will find fans in anyone who has ever tangled with a poopy diaper and lost." --Publishers Weekly