My Lovely Wife: A Memoir of Madness and Hope

Description

Mark and Giulia fell for each other in their teens, married in their 20s, and didn't realize what their love would demand of them until Giulia suffered a terrifying and unexpected psychotic break at the age of twenty-seven. Hospitalized for almost a month, she was tormented by delusions and paranoia. Upon release, she sunk into an extended suicidal depression during which Mark, struggling to support Giulia, was torn between the demands of keeping her safe and following doctor's orders, and honouring her independence and making her feel loved. Eventually, Giulia fully recovered, and the couple had a son. Soon after Jonas was born, Giulia had another breakdown, and then a third a few years after that. Pushed to the edge of the abyss, everything the couple had once taken for granted was upended. In My Lovely Wife, Mark Lukach takes us through these harrowing years with compassion and candour, as he and Giulia renegotiate their relationship, anchored by an abiding devotion to each other and their family. A story of the fragility of the mind, and the tenacity of the human spirit, My Lovely Wife is, above all, a love story that raises profound questions: How do we best care for the people we love? What and who do we live for? Breathtaking in its honesty, radiant with compassion, written with dazzling lyricism, this intensely personal odyssey offers much-needed insight into the caregiving side of mental illness, and affirms the power of love.

Mark Lukach is a teacher and freelance writer. His work has been published in the New York Times, the Atlantic, Pacific Standard, Wired, and other publications. Mark first wrote about Giulia in a New York Times "Modern Love" column and again in a piece for Pacific Standard Magazine, which was the magazine's most-read article in 2015. He has also shared their story at The Moth Main Stage, and at a TEDx conference.

A dazzling, loving and hugely courageous book -- The Times A compassionate and deeply honest account -- Guardian This gorgeous memoir gives readers a raw and unvarnished account of what it's like to live with and love someone with a severe mental illness. There are moments of gut-wrenching sadness-but, ultimately, the story is hopeful, even triumphant. This book basically tore out my heart and then lovingly sewed it back in place -- Susannah Cahalan, author of Brain on Fire It's possible that understanding the terrifying and excruciating process of being placed in a mental institution can be best understood by the person who loves you most. Mark Lukach lyrically transforms our understanding of love, mental illness, patience, and devotion in this stunning memoir which chronicles falling in love with a woman whose mental condition eventually changed their lives forever. With moving and touching prose, this book truly describes what it's like to have the picture of your life smashed in an instant and subsequently reassembled miraculously. -- Mayim Bialik, PhD, neuroscientist, actress and New York Times bestselling author It absolutely gutted me. It was so many things at once: an adorably devoted love story, a memoir of mental illness, an admittance of anger and guilt, a story of resilience. It offered a perspective I feel is underserved in mental health writing, and while I found it hard emotionally to continue at times, it will stay with me for a long time. - Nikki Goerz -- New York Times - Readers Recommend their Favorite Books of 2017 An honest and rewarding memoir of a couple's compassion and love for each other -- Kirkus Honest and heartfelt, My Lovely Wife tells the difficult story of a marriage tested by mental illness, and reminds us that true love is never easy -- Kyle Boelte, author of The Beautiful Unseen My Lovely Wife is a compelling memoir and a heartrending tale of love, madness, and redemption. Like a long-distance trail runner, Mark Lukach embarks on a harrowing journey deep into the woods of psychosis and through the dark twists and turns of his wife's illness and gradual recovery. But his loyalty to her never wavers, and his story is a testament to the healing power of love and endurance. -- Stuart H. Coleman, author of Eddie Would Go