Judged: The Value of Being Misunderstood

Description

Everyone worries about being judged. One foolish tweet can destroy a career, one careless image can ruin a reputation. Yet judgement is inescapable; we cannot be social beings without judging and being judged. We're stuck with judgement and all the awkwardness, embarrassment, shame, guilt and loneliness that can come with that. Yet all is not lost in this arena of snap verdicts and social misfires. In this sensitive and creative book, Ziyad Marar reclaims judgement proposing that we need it in order to value ourselves and others; we can't live abundantly without the peaks and troughs of judgement. Drawing upon psychology, philosophy, TV, Film, poetry and literature, Marar reveals a world which takes seriously our need to reach out and connect and one where hope, however tentative, can blossom. There are no easy answers here, but there are moments where our judging can become generous and forgiving; moments where the cracks in the world feel like possibilities rather than dead ends, moments when the light comes in.

Ziyad Marar is the author of Intimacy (2014), Deception (The Art of Living) (2008) and The Happiness Paradox (2003) and is President of Global Publishing at Sage Publications.

Marar writes in a lively, narrative style. Careful readers will be struck by the subtle distinctions Marar draws between various forms of judgment and the various representations of both social and personal identity. The discussion benefits from helpful endnotes and figures, references to pop culture, and autobiographical insights ... Summing Up: Recommended. Lower-division undergraduates, professionals, general readers. * CHOICE * This is a lovely book, extraordinary in its range of reference and yet written with a wonderful lightness of touch. It's also refreshingly disorientating. You will find yourself re-examining your judgement of others. More disturbingly, you will end up reappraising your own actions and motives. Do not expect to emerge unscathed! -- - David Edmonds, author (with John Eidinow) of 'Wittgenstein's Poker' and co-host of the Philosophy Bites podcast (www.philosophybites.com) Philosopher, psychologist, sociologist, moralist, cutting edge cultural commentator: Marar reveals he is all these, through writing as insightful and stimulating as it is entertaining and accessible. Marar richly describes how we all swim, sink, even drown, in oceans of each other's judgement. Judgement is heaven and hell, craved and loathed, it makes us fully human. Our being-for-others is a primeval existential truth, and social media is its new and disturbing dimension. Marar's analysis of how e-judgement is redefining us is timely and brilliant. -- Gary Cox, author of 'How to Be an Existentialist' Ziyad Marar is a humane writer and thinker, realising that grappling with our own nature, and reaching for objective and subjective insights, makes for the very best philosophy. -- Mark Vernon, author of 'The Idler Guide to Ancient Philosophy' This is a deft, forgiving and very helpful account of how we can avoid some of the messes we invariably get into when we are judging others and being judged by them. We feel compelled to judge other people but often do so in deeply flawed ways, all the while hoping that others will judge us in ways most flattering to our needy egos. You cannot read it without stopping to think a little more reflectively and generously about what really matters in life. -- Charles Leadbeater, author of 'We Think' and 'The Rise of the Social Entrepreneur'